5 Tips for Shy Brides And Grooms

Many people think that brides are more than happy to be the centre of attention on their big day, but there are many women who are typically classed as introverts, women who are just a little more reserved and shy, and others who just don’t like to be in the spotlight at all, which can result in some additional nerves and anxiety before the wedding.

And it’s not just brides who can feel overwhelmed at the thought of being the center of everyone’s focus. Grooms can feel nervous about giving a speech, slow dancing for the first dance, and about having to pose for wedding photographs.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that it is your wedding day, both of you as a couple, and that while there may be elements of a wedding that are considered to be “traditional”, that doesn’t mean you have to do them if you really don’t want to. Or you could opt to do them a little differently…

Instead of having a first dance with just the two of you, you could opt for all of the wedding party to take part, and rather than the groom feeling under pressure to deliver a YouTube-worthy speech, he can keep it short and sweet instead. If either of you (or both of you) are painfully camera-shy, let your photographer know well in advance and ask for group photos or candid shots rather than pictures that are overly posed or set-up.

If you or your partner are very shy but you want to try and combat it as best you can for your wedding day, here are our top tips to help make you feel more confident:

1. Fake It

This may be something you’ve heard many times before, but faking confidence can not only help make you feel more confident in the long-term, it will also help calm your nerves in the short-term too. Stand tall, don’t slouch, and smile! Most of our confidence shows through our body language, so get that right and it will help make you feel better.

2. One-On-One

If you can, make the time to speak to your guests individually, or in small groups at their tables during the reception. Everyone wants to get their chance to look at the bride and groom, to wish them well and congratulate them. This can mean lots of people trying to speak to you at once, hovering on the side-lines waiting for their chance to catch you in a free moment, which can feel overwhelming and put you on the spot.

By taking the time to meet with your guests in smaller groups, you are controlling the interaction, and once they have spoken with you they are less likely to accost you when you’re not expecting it.

3. Flip The Conversation

If guests fawning over you and asking lots of questions fills you with dread, turn the conversation around to them – Are they having a nice time? Did they enjoy the meal? Would they like to put a request in with the DJ or band?

4. Preparation Is Key

Entertainment and décor at a wedding can work wonders to distract guests from focusing too much on the bride and groom. It might cost a little more, but weigh up if it’s worth it for you if it helps make you feel less under pressure. Acoustic singers during happy hour, photographers setting up guest photos, a live band, interactive decorations and features such as a memory wall and photo booth, can all help distract guests so that the bride and groom don’t feel like just a big an attraction.

bride and groom

5. Take Dance Lessons

If the thought of slow dancing fills you with dread, don’t be afraid to take a couple of lessons first. Dancing doesn’t come naturally for many people, and slow dancing can feel especially tricky. More couples than you think take a few lessons before their wedding day so they feel more confident on the dance floor.

By Rachel Doherty, Excalibur Press