Room for the Groom?
We ladies like to talk a lot about our wedding plans, don’t we? Oh, let’s be honest we absolutely love it!
As it gets closer, we get busier and busier and it seems that the big day is taking up all our waking moments of thought – and some of our sleeping ones. Suddenly, you’re trying to work discussion about your wedding into every conversation – it’s taking up all of your time so why shouldn’t be taking up everyone else’s also?
Maybe your friend is telling you about her sick cat and you respond with “yes, that reminds me of the other day when I was talking to the florist”. This is not an appropriate response, ladies – I found out from experience.
Some people, God bless their little cotton socks, bring the subject up all on their own. These are the people I live for. “How is the wedding plans coming along?” they might ask. Don’t you just want to kiss them all over their face? No? Just me?
Well anyway, as I launch into my spiel about menu choices and flowers, I wonder why I’m spewing one hundred words a minute while Mr Brady nods his head looking politely interested.
Even today in 2016, there is a natural assumption that the bride is the sole organiser of the wedding. People question her about everything from the flowers to the cars while the groom stands there thinking about what he might be wanting for his dinner. The bride to be is seen as “the boss” while the poor groom to be is constrained to the role of “bystander” to what is ultimately the biggest day of his life also.
Some girls are more than comfortable with this role and fair play to them! Organising is for some women as a bath full of chocolate is to others. Sublime! These girls embrace the term “throwing a Monica” and have the entire wedding day organised the week after they’re engaged. Bravo ladies, bravo!
Likewise, some lads are born bystanders and like to leave their partners to it. I’ve heard men proudly exclaim, “I just sit back and she tells me where to send the cheques”. Fair enough lads, fair enough! You’ve a fine woman there now and be sure to hold on to her! Ladies, hold on to the cheque book!
What no one seems to talk about however is what you’re supposed to do if the groom actually really wants to be involved in the planning? What happens if you find yourself with a full blown groomzilla who wants to organise everything from the bridesmaid’s hair accessories to the centre pieces at the reception? Remembering murder is illegal, girls….
Okay, so Mr Brady isn’t quite that bad – else I might have had to run for the hills by now and being in Donegal, I’d have plenty of choice! No, Mr Brady just has this mad notion that since it’s supposed to be his day too (despite the popular consensus), he wants his input not only with things that concern him, like for instance suits, but with other things too like invites and decorations! Have I a madman on my hands? Well, just to be on the safe side, I had him checked and it seems not.
In a recent post North-West Brides asked “How much say should grooms have in the wedding plans?“, what do you think?