6 Ways To Help Your Bridesmaids Feel Included In Your Wedding

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Making sure your bridesmaids feel included in your wedding is a great way to make plans go more smoothly – cooperation and plenty of laughter go a long way when organising a big event such as this. In addition, you may find that the whole journey of wedding planning becomes easier and even enjoyable!

Here are 6 ways to get your bridesmaids involved:


1. Give yourself a gang name

This is a fantastic way to kick off wedding planning ‘wit da crew’, and the ideas are endless. Ultimately the name should be something which gives the group an identity, that is not only unique and personal, but also a bit of fun!

The name could be based on the brides nickname e.g. The Clairebears, or could be a more fun but generic name, like ‘Sarah’s Pack’ *que wolf howls*. It could be based on an inside joke, e.g. ‘The Special K’s’ because of that time the bride met her soon-to-be-hubby and consequently choked on her special K cereal. It’s a name the bride and bridesmaids should decide together, and one way to completely transform all future wedding-focused outings.

2. Invite them to join in

From picking out a dress to choosing the perfect bouquet or wine, your bridesmaids are available and ready to give their input. They just need you to give them a chance. So even if you have decided to do the majority of shopping online, make sure to invite them into your plans so they don’t miss out!

3. Constructive rejection of ideas

When it comes to planning a wedding, different tastes and ideas from different people are inevitable. This is why it’s useful to handle everyone’s ideas constructively and without compromising on what you want.

You want to be tactful, in not appearing to be a bridezilla, and it’s never worth falling out with friends over something as trivial as the colour of the cake flowers. Some women like to start planning with a few verbal boundaries put in place first, so that expectations of bridesmaids stay where the bride is comfortable.

Never dismiss an idea with a negative comment either. Always compliment the idea and then follow up on what you’d truly prefer so as not to hurt feelings, and lastly, open up – tell your bridesmaids what your visions include so that they can at least offer direction from an informed choice.

4. Be prepared to compromise

Even though it is important to have your day as you would like it, if every bridesmaid is telling you that they don’t feel confident in their selected bridesmaid’s dresses, then it is important to respect their feelings and consider an alternative. This completely depends on the context, of course.

5. Leave some planning up to them

Planning a wedding can be like a full-time job at times, don’t be afraid to give some jobs to your bridesmaids to lessen the burden and load on yourself, just keep each other in the loop and it should work out fine.

6. Reward them for being bridesmaids

Rewards can be anything from a symbolic gift to a ‘thank you’ dinner. It might even be a spa day or overnight stay at a hotel. You will know your girls best and therefore know the best way to treat them!

Lastly, ensure to thank them in wedding day speeches, and even consider inventing some bespoke special bridesmaid’s awards that include things like ‘best planner’ to ‘best drinker’. As long as none of these ideas are potentially offensive they can be a nice final touch to the whole bridesmaid experience!

By Claire Louise McBride, Excalibur Press