Look Who’s Talking!

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Earlier this month, North West Brides posed the question: should brides speak at their weddings? Well, that one got me thinking! Back in the day, it was unheard of for the lady of the hour to speak on her big day.

Instead, she would sit there looking coy and demure while the men of her life, her father and new husband, did all the talking.

Not anymore! These days, us girls can hog the microphone and give the best man a run for his money!


Over the course of this blog, I think I’ve made it abundantly clear how much I abhor making a spectacle of myself in anything resembling a public setting. Vows, first dance, you name it, I’m terrified of it! It may surprise you then to learn that when the opportunity comes to have my say on my wedding day, I fully intend to grab it with both hands!

Call me crazy, if you haven’t been already, but it seems to me that in every other respect of the wedding, we are told it’s the “bride’s day”. In a lot of cases, it’s us girls who do most of the wedding organising, it’s us who find ourselves the focus of attention, due in part to the fact that the groom gets to wear a suit while we wear a ‘look at me, here I am’ white dress. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, these are all good things and logically speaking, it’s only natural that we should get our fair share of the ‘air time’.

I try to think of it from the guests point of view, or more importantly, from the point of view of the guest who knows the bride but not the groom. Of course, they are going to want to hear from their friend and/or relative how she is feeling on this, their biggest of big, big days.

Surprisingly, I can count on one hand, actually make that one finger, the number of weddings I have been to in which the lady of the hour had her say. On the one occasion it did happen, the bride did a magnificent job and had the entire room in hysterics. I decided right there and then that should I ever find myself at my own reception, this would be an opportunity I would definitely seize.

So, it looks like I have to start writing! Funny, how I could ramble on for days on this blog about anything and everything and nothing at all, as soon as I even think about getting a pen to write my speech, my mind goes a blank. I must assume that funny words to compile into amusing and touching sentences that thank all the appropriate people will occur to me sometime between now and September – it’s just a matter of waiting for the lightbulb moment! The dreaded alternative is winging it i.e. standing up at the reception with nothing all planned and just opening the mouth and seeing what comes out. I keep thinking of Rachael singing ‘The Copacabana’ in Friends. Let’s just say, I’m that good at singing, my guests would be jumping into the Mediterranean to escape it.

Knowing me as I do know me, something awe-inspiring and poignant will occur to me at one of two convenient times 1. When I’m driving somewhere and have gotten lost 2. In that moment right before I fall asleep. In either case, access to a pen will be minimal and so said brilliance will go unrecorded. Pah! I’ll wing it, what’s the worst that could happen?

Then there’s the delivery on the day. I’ve spoken into a microphone once or twice in my life and I hate it with a fiery passion. There’s something about the Donegal accent amplified that makes it sound particularly Daniel-ish. Filing cabinet indeed! There’s also the possibility that I’ll swallow the microphone. Don’t laugh, I’ve seen many the best man come close – anything to stop the infernal drone of their own wee voices, the creaturs!

Whatever happens, I know I’ll be glad to have done it. There’ll be so many people I’ll want to mention, so many eyes I’ll want to meet and say ‘thank you’ for making our day possible. Plus, there’ll be the man himself, my new husband, who knows how hard I find any kind of public speaking and so I hope will be touched by my effort – however dismally they present themselves. The things we do for love, eh girls?